SPFL Tier 3 Play-off, Semi-Final, Second Leg, The Rock, 7/5/22.

We needed an early goal to have any hope of putting the wind up them. Needless to say it wasn’t forthcoming.

The first half was pretty much nothing. And, criminally, no urgency on our part .

A quadruple substitution early in the second half brightened us up and brought a goal from a Kalvin Orsi cross and Kris Syvertsen’s head.

The great comeback on?

No. This is Dumbarton, vintage 2022.

It would only ever have taken one goal to down us. And it did. Three minutes after ours. Our defence parted like theatre curtains. No-one put in a challenge to stop their player getting his shot away.

Mind you, it had been coming. They had had several efforts on target thwarted by Kieran Wright or else squandered.

But the damage had been done in the first leg – and all through the season.

So our centenary year will be spent in the bottom tier of the top league in Scotland.

Even if that’s been our natural habitat for most of my life there’s now an air of doom about the club that has never been there before. The murkiness of the club’s ownership is a constant threat and contributed greatly to our recent woes.

I dread to think where we’ll spend the season after next.

If we still exist.

Expletive deleted.

SPFL Tier 3 Play-off, Semi-Final, First Leg, Ainslie Park, 03/05/22.

Calamity.

Shambles.

Disgrace.

Choose your own noun.

Whichever, this was a come-uppance that has been coming all season.

We weren’t the worse team in the first half; indeed we had several opportunities to put in good crosses, notably from Ross MacLean, but the delivery was never acceptable enough except when Conner Duthie put one over for Josh Oyinsan to head. Josh’s angle was slightly wrong and the ball just cleared the bar. That would have made it 1-1 and might have changed the game.

But our perennial ability to shoot ourselves in the foot manifested itself when George Stanger underhit a back-pass and Kieran Wright couldn’t prevent the forward getting past him to be presented with an open goal.

Their second was also an abject disaster, a corner somehow not being cleared and the ball going in off Gregor Buchanan. At that point any thought of winning this tie all but disappeared.

Mind you, if we had approached the start of the first half the way we did the second things might have been different. For the first twenty minutes we were all over them, creating space down the flanks and getting crosses in. It was two odd substitutions though with Kris Syvertsen who had looked as if he might create something and big Josh (who admittedly wasn’t at his best) being replaced by Kalvin Orsi and Callum Wilson. At this point Paul Paton was bossing the game from the base of midfield and it was his cross that was looped over the keeper from the edge of the box for our goal. Young Callum did his best, twisting and turning past defenders several times, but nobody was able to be calm enough to finish off his work.

Their third killed it. Another defensive mix-up and a reasonable save from Keiran Wright was followed by a failure to clear the ball which fell to a guy who couldn’t miss.

At 2-1 and with us on top there was the possibility of getting an equaliser but that goal knocked us back. 3-1 was always going to be a different prospect.

The final nail in the coffin with minutes to go – another short pass back latched on to by the home attack – just completed the humiliation.

The thought of watching the second leg was by then almost unbearable.

So; unless some sort of miracle happens on Saturday we now know where we’ll be playing next season; Tier 4.

Who knows where we’ll be the season after that?

The club is in deep trouble on and off the park. It’s its 150^th anniversary later this year. What a sorry state it’s in to greet that.

Profound change is required.

SPFL Tier 3, Balmoral Stadium, 23/4/22.

This was an odd experience. I’ve been at an away ground before where the home team could win promotion that day (Stark’s Park, when Jimmy Nichol was Raith player-manager) and it was a much more raucous affair.

For a team about to win a championship the home crowd was strangely muted. Maybe it’s an Aberdeen thing. Alex Ferguson said that the most encouragement the Pittodrie faithful gave his team was that, “You could hear them rustling their sweetie papers.”

Whatever the only chanting in the first half came from the small cohort of Dumbarton fans giving it the usual. “We’re only here for the party,” “What a shitey home support,” and “Shall we sing a song for you,” were each given a run-out.

We had the better of the earlier exchanges and their keeper made more saves (two) than ours (one) in the first half. Ross MacLean was worked into a good poaition on the left of the box but his shot was at a perfect height for the keeper to save it. Then Connor Duthie had a shot blocked and Josh Oyinsan shanked the rebound wide. Josh worked another opportunity afew minutes later but his finish was a bit weak and close to the keeper. At the other end Kieran Wright came out to smother a shot in a one-on-one. A pretty nothing first half in truth. The home team were just that though, a team, clearly used to playing with each other. Their passes generally found their target whereas ours could be wayward. However they didn’t look like a side hoping to win their league that day, with not much urgency to their play.

In the second half they did step it up a bit, but only a bit. Patience is a virtue and their one good opportunity was put away, former Son Mitch Megginson unaccountably left free at the edge of our box to rilfe it home. There was really only one winner after that, though we had a flurry towards the end. In retrospect the three changes our manager Stevie Farrell made simultaneously on 66 minutes perhaps made us less potent.

The plastic pitch had done for Eoghan Stokes 14 minutes in. It looked like his studs got too much grip on it and he was forced off.

Balmoral Stadium itself is a kind of soulless place to play football. At the edge of an industrial estate and overlooked by radio and microwave transmitters, it has a tiny stand (a bit like Boghead’s old Postage Stamp) straddling the halfway line with flat surrounds beside it and on the other three sides, though with three shallow stepped enclosures on the side opposite the stand. If there’s one persion standing in front of you you won’t be able to see any of the action. You have to be on the rail. In adddition the goal nets are almost touching the “terracing” barriers behind the goals.

Anyway, congratulatiosn to Cove Rangers on their winning the league.

As for us, a nothing game next Saturday before the nerve shredding play-off. For the second season in a row we’ll come up against Edinburgh City, away on 3^rd or 4^th May, with the home leg on 7^th May. I’m not looking beyond that.

Today Sons’ new league season begins. It doesn’t seem any time at all since the aggregate play-off win against Edinburgh City and of course we have had three games in the League Cup* already but this is the big one.

We kick our SPFL Tier 3** campaign off away from home against Clyde. What with the usual churn of players in the close season I have no idea what to expect.

At least with luck we’ll go the full 36 games this time unlike in the past two seasons.

Sometime during it I might even get to see us play in person rather than on a screen.

* Premier Sports Cup

** You can call it cinch League One if you wish.

SPFL Tier 3, Play-off Final, Second Leg, The Rock, 20/5/21.

So we survived. Just.

But we were Dumbarton nil to the last.

That Edinburgh City goal made it nervy for the last forty minutes or so. Had it not been for their forward diving and so receiving a second yellow card it might have been worse. They had looked full of belief just after they scored – or rather we looked a bit unsure of ourselves at the back.

Speaking of the goal, as soon as it was lofted in I was screaming for Sam Ramsbottom to come for it. He didn’t, and the forward took advantage of the combined defensive uncertainty. It was a neat finish by him but Ramsbottom cost us there.

We hadn’t looked at all troubled first half but we had the wind behind us then. Not that we made anything of it.

Adam Frizell had a good (self-created) effort just tipped away by their keeper. Otherwise we threatened not at all.

This has been a dreadful season. I suppose we deserve to stay up – because we did – but the watching has been hard.

The way things are going next season will be just as tough. Unless things change at the club.

SPFL Tier 3 Playoff Final, First Leg, Ainslie Park, 17/5/21.

Well. Where did that come from?

I thought we had played quite well first half and had the better opportunities but we had fallen a wee bit out of it even if they hadn’t had a shot on goal. I must confess when they scored, out of the blue really, (Sam Ramsbottom could maybe have done better?) I thought the tie was over.

But we came out and started to get at them.

Unusually a short corner worked for us, Ross Forbes playing a wicked cross on to Ryan McGeever’s head. No doubt where that was going. Our first ever goal at Ainslie Park.

The second was due to Forbes driving at the defence. His shot wasn’t properly dealt with by the keeper and Tomas Brindley, even though he hit the rebound directly at him, still had enough on the ball to get it past him.

The third was Forbes again, putting in the free-kick sweetly for Morgyn Neill’s bullet header.

Three assists for Ross Forbes. His legs may have gone but he’s still capable of delivering a free kick.

It’s still only half time though. Second leg at the Rock on Thursday. If they score first things will doubtless get jittery.

SPFL Tier Three Play-off Semi-Final, second leg, The Rock, 11/5/21.

Another unrelaxing 90 minutes.

Stranraer had the best of the first ten minutes but then we began to come into the game and dominatedthe rest of the half. We actually played some football, passing the ball around on the deck!

I thought we’d rue the two chances Jaime Wilson didn’t put away, playedd into the edge of the box and running on to shoot which the keeper blocked but the rebound he skied over. Then another good passing move saw him hit it first time but wide.

His goal came after a bit of ping-pong in their box. It fell to him and he just smashed it.

The second half Stranraer came out very lively and it was like that for the rest of the game with us only making the occasional foray upfield. It was after one of these that Carsy mistimed his challenge at the edge of the box and gave away a penalty. Thankfully their player hit it against the base of the post and it bounced out for a goal kick.

We could maybe have scored again when Robert Jones worked space for himself in their box but didn’t pull the trigger early enough and also when Nick McAllister ran almost the length of the pitch betaing several defenders only for the keeper to save his shot with his leg, and Robert Jones couldn’t get to the rebound in time.

Unfortunately Jaime Wilson hobbled off halfway through the half. What goal threat we’ll have without him is dubious.

Curiously the time seemed to fly by. 20 minutes left became 15, then 10 then 3, then injury time but Stranraer couldn’t fashion thnmselves another chance.

So now it’s on to the play-off final. Against Edinburgh City, the first time we’ll have played them, I think – in this incarnation anyway. Away on Monday, then home on Thursday of next week.

As I’ve been away I only caught up with the news of the demotion of East Stirlingshire from the SPFL late yesterday.

61 years in the SFL/SPFL gone in a flash. It’s sad for them but they’ve been living on fumes for seasons on end now. It was always most likely that it would be the Shire that would be the first to fall victim to the play-off system.

Congratulations, though, to Edinburgh City. The role of third (or fourth) largest football side in Edinburgh has been taken in the past by St Bernard’s (defunct since World War 2) and Leith Athletic (demised 1955, reconstituted 1996 and as a senior team in 2008.) As those statistics suggest, surviving in the shadow of Hearts and Hibs is not easy.

Then there is the case of Meadowbank Thistle (Ferranti Thistle as was) admitted to the Scottish Football League in 1974 but weren’t satisfied with the sizes of crowds they were attracting in the capital and decamped to Livingston in 1995.

Speaking of Hibs, I see they managed to muck things up again. Hibsing it indeed. Then again they’ll probably win the Cup Final now and so put to an end the longest running “will this be the year” saga in Scottish football.

Leicester City’s fairy tale first top level title made the news in The Netherlands – as elsewhere I suspect. There was a newspaper article there about the length of time previous winners of their country’s football championship had been waiting to win it again. Schalke 04 topped the list at well over 20,000 days with Tottenham Hotspur second (also over 20,000 days.) Liverpool were about eighth on the list. I can just about make out some Dutch but a list is no problem.

I also divined from a radio report on the way back up that Roberto Martinez had lost the Everton job, paying the price for not getting enough out of a talented group of players. (An alternative possibility is that those players aren’t quite as good as their reputations would have them.)

And then there was the Scottish Parliament election, where the SNP paid the price of winning too many constituency seats and Labour actually did come second in the percentage vote in that element but not in the regional lists. We had voted by post before we left.

The sheer cheek of it is unbelievable.

First they demanded and got a smaller top division; “to help them in Europe.”
Then they demanded and got to keep receipts for home games instead of the previous split.
Then they demanded and got effective control of their own league.
Then they started scrabbling around to play anywhere but here – England, the “Atlantic League.”
All in the search for more and more money to stuff their own coffers.
(And in Europe they still haven’t bettered their achievements under the old system they wanted rid of in the first place.)

Now they scrap their own reserve league but come up with the suggestion that their reserves should join the SFL Div 3.

They’re not advocating it for our benefit you can be sure, only for theirs.

Why should they even be talked to, still less accommodated? Why should they be granted a place in Div 3 when clubs like Spartans, Cove, Edinburgh City and Preston Athletic desire to get in – and have a better claim on a place? Why scrap your reserve league if you still want to have a reserve team?

In the words of Chewing The Fat, “I smell shite.”

Go away. Just go away. Go to England and see if they’ll have you. Go to Holland. Go To France.
Take your moaning-faced insufferable “fans” with you. See how they’ll like you never winning anything for years on end and not even having a sniff of Europe like the majority of English clubs. See how loyal they’ll be then. (A damned sight less than those inured-to-disappointment fans of SFL clubs, you can be sure.)