There has been a lot of talk in the football world about “simulation” – or diving as it’s more commonly known in Britain – ever since the Eduardo incident in last week’s Champion’s League tie.

Arsenal’s manager Arséne Wenger has sought to defend his player on the grounds that Eduardo suffered a horrific tackle two seasons ago and therefore has a tendency to pull out of challenges.

Why, then, did you pick him, Arséne? (Do you not have a duty to protect him from such terrors?) Also, he won’t be much cop on the field if he goes around avoiding tackles. And hasn’t your saying so made him a target?

Much comment too has been made on the fact that had the referee spotted Eduardo’s dive he would only have received a yellow card. With the simulation charge and guilty finding he faces a two match ban. This is said to be unfair.

Which only goes to show how much bollocks the average football person talks.

For which is worse? Trying to deceive the referee and failing; or actually succeeding in conning the official?

The greater punishment is just. It ought to be higher for the latter.

After all, attempted murder is a lesser charge than homicide.

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