This ought really to have been one of the first of these posts but I didn’t get round to photographing the building till last Sunday. It belongs in Scotland’s Art Deco Heritage rather than merely Edinburgh’s because it is such a significant building (both architecturally and governmentally) housing as it does a fairly large proportion of the Scottish Civil Service.

Below is a view of the rear looking from North Bridge.

I took the photo from just beside the War Memorial which I featured yesterday. You can just see part of the roofs of Waverley railway station in the foreground. The tower at the top of the picture is actually on Calton Hill, the round structure to the left is in the cemetery adjacent to St Andrew’s House.

Here is the building in all its monolithic Stalinist glory.

From right:-

From left:-

The central frontage is a bit overbearing:-

Each of the pillars is surmounted by a statue:-

If you click on the above to enlarge it you can probably see the words carved into the stone just above the pillars. They depict six of the functions of the Scottish Office; architecture, statecraft, health, agriculture, fisheries, education.

Former Queen’s Park, Hearts, Scotland and, briefly, Dumbarton goalkeeper Jim Cruickshank has died.

He was probably the best goalkeeper Hearts have ever had and ought to have played more times for Scotland than he did.

I can’t remember at all well the 1977-78 season during which he played for the Sons but I suspect I did see him between the sticks for us. He was past his prime by then I suppose, but had fallen out with Hearts for some reason; a rift which apparently was never healed – which is sad as he is definitely a Hearts (and Scottish) legend.

Jim Cruickshank: 13/04/1941-18/11/2010. So it goes.

Hampden Park, 12/10/10

Well this was much brighter. Two good goals and coming from behind to equalise. Against the World Champions* too. It just shows the benefits of having a go sometimes. Mind you I only watched the highlights show at 11.05.

The timidity of the (lack of) ambition in evidence against Lithuania and in the Czech Rep was shown up by this performance. We are capable of creating chances and of scoring them – even against the best. Okay it was at home and with a fierce vocal backing. But Spain are a much greater force than the two teams from whom we filched merely one point and who now have four and three respectively in our mini tournament to decide the upper lower (or lower upper if you prefer) placings in the group. Spain will win it overall, Liechtenstein will be bottom.

It’s all left us with too much to do.

*The official World Champions. Japan (!) are now the unofficial World Champions. That title has changed hands twice now since the World Cup.

Synot Tip Arena, Prague, 8/10/10

This was grim: and we got what we deserved. I hope Jim Chapman wasn’t watching, it might have given him wild ideas.

I joked to a work mate today we should play 10-0. What we got was a remarkably similar formation, 4-6-0. I would have been better off – and more excited – watching paint dry.

If you don’t play any forwards you can’t get the ball upfield. If you can’t get the ball upfield you can’t score. And that’s the whole point of the game.

Okay, if you don’t concede you don’t lose. But you can’t win.

Craig Levein’s tactics today ensured that Scotland would not win.

Was he using this as some sort of a trial run for playing Spain? (I know he denied it after the game but watch what formation he sends out against Spain in Spain. If he’s still there. )

If so it was at the least unwise. (I doubt whether we have the players capable of sustaining this system.) And the Czech Republic didn’t look very great shakes, not all that incisive going forward even after we had to come out a bit and, though they were never really under pressure, insecure at the back . They also appeared very get-at-able when Scotland went 4-4-2.

This could have been an opportunity for a win (unlikely but possible.)

And it was spurned.

Big Rab recently posted up this list. Apologies to Sassenachs and others furth of Scotland for the incomprehensibility of most of what follows.

1. You consider scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine as good weather.

2. The only sausage you like is square.

3. You have been forced to do Scottish country dancing every year at secondary school.

4. You have a wide vocabulary of Scottish words such as numpty, aye, aye right, auldjin, baltic…

5. You destroyed your teeth when you were young using Buchanan’s Toffee, Wham bars, Penny Dainties, MB Bars, Cola Cubes etc.

6. You have an enormous feeling of dread whenever Scotland play a ‘numpty’ team like the Faroe Islands.

7. You happily engage in a conversation about the weather with someone you’ve never met before.

8. Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia , Deacon Blue and Big Country, you still love it when you’re in a club abroad and they play something Scottish.

9. You used to watch Glen Michael’s Cavalcade on a Sunday afternoon with his side kick Lamp Paladin.

10. You got Oor Wullie and The Broons annuals at Xmas.

11. You can tell where another Scot is from by their accent – “Awright, pal, gonnae gies a wee swatch oa yur Sun ? Cheers. Magic, pal.” Or, “Fit ya bin up tae? Fair few quines in the nicht, eh ?” etc.

12. You see cops and hear someone shout, ‘Errapolis.’

13. You have participated in or watched people having a ‘square go.’

14. You know that when someone asks you what school you went to they only want to know if you are Catholic or Protestant.

15. You have eaten lots and lots of random Scottish food like mince’n’tatties, Tunnock’s Caramel Logs/Wafers and Teacakes, oat cakes, haggis, Cullen Skink, Lees Macaroon Bars, etc.

16. A jakey has asked you for money.

17. You think nothing of waiting expectantly for your 1p change from a shop keeper.

18. You know the right response to, ‘Ye dancing ?’ is, ‘Y’askin?’ followed by, ‘Ah’m askin,’ and finally, ‘Then ah’m dancin.’

19. Whenever you see sawdust it reminds you of pools of vomit as that’s what the jannies used to chuck on it at school.

20. You lose all respect for a groom who doesn’t wear a kilt.

21. You don’t do shopping… you ‘go the messages.’

22. You’re sitting on the train or bus and a drunk man sits next to you telling you a joke – and asking, ‘Ah’m no annoying ye ah’m a?’ and you respond, ‘Naw, not at a’, yer fine. This is ma stoap, but.’

23. You can have an entire phone conversation using only the words, ‘awright,’ ‘aye,’ and ‘naw.’

24. You have experienced peer pressure to have an alcoholic drink when out – regardless of the circumstances.

25. You know that ye cannae fling yer pieces oot a 20 storey flat, and

that seven hundred hungry weans’ll testify tae that.

Furthermore

you’re sure that if it’s butter, cheese or jeely, or if the breid is plain or pan, the odds against it reaching earth are 99 tae wan.

26. You know that going to a party at a friend’s house involves bringing your own drink.

27. Your holiday abroad is ruined if you hear there is a heatwave in Scotland while you’re away.

28. Your national team goes 2-0 up against the Czechs in a qualifier in Prague and your mate says we’ll end up losing 3-2 here and you think, “Probably.”

29. You can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie and Auchtermuchty.

30. Your favourite pizza is deep fried and battered from the chippy.

31. You’re used to 4 seasons in one day.

32 You can’t pass a chip shop or kebab shop, without drooling, when you’re drunk.

33. You can fall about drunk without spilling your drink.

34. You measure distance in minutes.

35. You can understand Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like them in your own family.

36. You go to Saltcoats because you think it’s like being at the ocean.

37. You can make a whole sentence out of just swear words.

38. You know what haggis is made with and still eat it.

39. Somebody you know used a football schedule to plan their wedding day date.

40. You’ve been at a wedding where the footie results were read out.

41. You aren’t surprised to find curries, pizzas, kebabs, Irn Bru, nappies and fags all for sale in one shop.

42. Your seaside holiday home has Calor gas under it.

43. You know that Irn Bru is an infallible hangover cure.

44. You understand all the above and are going to send it to your pals.

45. And, finally, you are 100 per cent Scottish if you have ever used these terms – “How’s it hingin’?” “clatty” “boggin” “cludgie” “dreich” “bampot” “bawheid” “baw bag” and “double nougat,” (this last pronounced “nugget.”)

Hampden Park, 7/9/10.

On the highlights (there were highlights?) Liechtenstein looked like a team. They were comfortable in possession, passing the ball, running in support, and in Mario Frick they had a very good player in their ranks – who took his goal superbly but ought to have been closed down to prevent it happening. Every time they got the ball I thought – they’re going to score, they’re going to score – and eventually they did.

Scotland looked nothing like a team, disjointed, unable to make the simplest pass or run, scared of possession: but got out of jail.

There is no point dreaming of qualification – notwithstanding the fact that Lithuania won in the Czech Rep last night (we won’t) – and even if by some miracle we do qualify what’s the use? We’d only get humped in every game in the finals; or the play-offs.

Even the chance to become unofficial world champions has now been taken away after Spain were demolished by Argentina yesterday.

Dariaus Ir Gireno Stadium, Kaunas, 3/9/10.

This was so frustrating. I expected Lithuania to be much better than they were. Given that we were so dominant in the first half while playing an essentially defensive formation why not change to something more attacking at half-time? (That was also the perfect time to replace Scott Brown who had become a liability.)

As it was McFadden wasn’t brought on till 25 minutes to go which didn’t give him enough time to be effective. Not that the ball was delivered to him often enough anyway.

And Kris Boyd wasn’t brought on at all: whatever you think of him he’s more of a natural goalscorer than anything we had on show in the starting line-up.

We’ll probably struggle against Liechtenstein on Tuesday night too.

Spain, now, we just might beat when they come round. We’re perverse that way.

My review of Hannu Rajaniemi’s The Quantum Thief for Interzone must have been acceptable as I see Jim Steel has it down for what looks like lead review in the Sep-Oct issue.

They’ve also sent me another book for review. This Is Kurt Vonnegut’s Look At The Birdie which is a collection of previously unpublished fiction.

Ever since I read his masterpiece Slaughterhouse Five he’s been one of my favourite writers.

Sadly Vonnegut died in 2007. So it goes.

I must say that the formulation of previously unpublished works issued posthumously doesn’t usually bode well.

I hope this book doesn’t disappoint.

Someone got to my blog by searching for “skottland art deco hotell” presumably because I’ve recently posted about the Balcomie Links Hotel or more likely the Beresford Hotel in Glasgow.

Anyway I looked at the google search page and found links to the Drumossie Hotel, Inverness.

A quick look through flickr turned up five photos which revealed part of it to be branded Inverness Conference & Banqueting Centre now. It’s undeniably Deco.

One of the flickr contributors complained that the local planning committee had vetoed new windows because they weren’t in keeping. The ones in the pictures don’t look original to me, though.

As I write I have no idea how the talks between the Tories and the Lib Dems to form a “stable” government are going.

NIck Clegg is, though, treading dangerous ground. If he trades principle for a Cabinet seat and does not at the least get from the Tories a commitment to a referendum on a proportional voting system for Westminster elections and he subsequently actively props up a Mr Irresponsible premiership I suspect a large segment of the Lib Dem core vote will abandon them at the next election. Or before if any arrangement manages to last: there are elections to the Scottish Parliament next year, plus local elections.

Even with such an agreement many in Scotland may still do so.

BBC Scotland is tonight screening a programme titled Why Didn’t Scots Vote Tory?

I know 17% of those who voted in Scotland did actually do that very thing but why devote a programme to the subject?

I can answer the question in one word.

Thatcher.

It is almost impossible to overestimate the size of the scar her administrations left on the Scottish political psyche. The swing to Labour in Scotland on Thursday is a reflection of the abhorrence with which Scots voters still regard the possibility of a Tory government inflicting such depredations on the country again. It is almost in the nature of a folk memory. Parents probably imbibe their children with it along with their mother’s (or their formula) milk.

Similar feelings pertain in large parts of the north of England too – witness Rochdale staying Labour despite Bigotgate and a credible Lib Dem challenge.

Symptomatic of this feeling was a caller to a BBC Scotland phone-in with Annabel Goldie (the Scottish Tory leader) who asked apropos of a putative state funeral for the so-called Iron Lady, “Does she have to be dead first?” It can be found on the BBC iPlayer. It’s about 33-35 minutes in.

Elvis Costello perhaps summed it up best. (Warning. He swears in the preamble.)